


How Things Go

by Sir_Nemo



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Nemo/pseuds/Sir_Nemo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection.</p><p>1. Bilbo/Bofur<br/>2. Gandalf/Galadriel<br/>3. Kili/Ori<br/>4. Dori/Dwalin<br/>5. Balin/Oin<br/>6. Tauriel/Lindir<br/>7. Bifur/Radagast<br/>8. Nori/Thorin<br/>9. Bard/Thranduil<br/>10. Fili/Legolas<br/>11. Azog/Elrond (one-sided)<br/>+1 Bombur & Gloin</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bilbo/Bofur

**Author's Note:**

> For this prompt: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/10731.html?thread=22171627#t22171627 Challenge was to pair everyone in the Company. I sort of paired EVERYONE, until my brain refused to work with me.

Bilbo appreciated the fact that Bofur knew many songs and was more than happy enough to share them with the rest of the Company. It made the journey a lot more pleasant, and could make Bilbo forget such things as orcs chasing them and coldness with which Thorin still treated him.

However, if Bilbo had one thing he wasn't exactly comfortable with, it was probably Bofur's love for filthy songs. Now, Bilbo might not know all the words Bofur's song used, but he was a rather good guesser. Far it be from him to complain, but it just was not proper, especially since Ori and Kili were far too young for songs like that and some of them were filthy enough to make Bilbo's ears burn red for days afterwards.

The others were starting to notice too, and after one particularly raunchy song about muffins, Ori, looking unfazed, laid a concerned eye on Bilbo and asked:

”Is everything alright?”

”Ah, it's nothing, Ori,” Bofur said, before Bilbo could answer. ”Master Baggins just isn't used to this kind of stuff. I bet hobbits are all prim and proper and all of this kind of business is left behind locked doors and under covers.”

The dwarves burst out into laughter. Bilbo waited for them to stop, before he spoke.

”Is that so?” Bilbo said, narrowing his eyes. He got up, brushed some dirt off his pants, and cleared his throat, locking his eyes with Bofur's. Then he sang the whole of ”Wizard's Staff' Got a Knob on The End”, a song his father had told never to recite in decent company, but then again this was not decent company. And his face was burning red, but he finished the song, never once turning his gaze from Bofur. When he was done the dwarves were staring at him, their mouths hanging open and most of them turning red under their beards, even Bofur.

Bilbo shared with them a mock bow, before going to his bedroll. He had barely managed to sit down, when Bofur joined him.

”I apologize for my assumptions,” he said.

”It's okay.” Bilbo smiled. ”I know we hobbits look like we'd rather much be drinking tea than tumbling between bedsheets, and that is often the case, but we do know a thing or two. My mother used to sing that song to me when I was a teen. It took me a long while to get it.”

”Your mother?” Bofur asked, grinning from ear to ear. ”There seems to be a lot about hobbits I need to learn.”

”Certainly.”

”I have decided then. Bilbo Baggins, I humbly ask a permission to court you.”

”You what?” Bilbo squeaked.

”Don't worry, you don't have to decide anything yet. Traditional dwarf courtings can take years, and I thought I'd might get started, before we reach the Mountain.”

Bilbo considered this a long while, fumbling with his waistcoat's buttons. Finally he said:

”I guess it would do good for me to learn a bit about dwarvish customs. I accept.”


	2. Gandalf/Galadriel

She is the only person that makes him feel both impossibly old and young at the same time. She is the fairest on this very good Earth, and he is humbled by every smile she grants him. She hears him for his wisdom, and loves him for his company, and though the road is very long for him, all it takes is for her to take his hands to her own and press a kiss on his lips to make it all worthwhile.


	3. Kili/Ori

Everyone could see there was something going on between Kili and Ori long before the two of them did. The young dwarves thought they were being oh-so-subtle, but no one could miss the longing looks they gave each other and the way Ori let out a giggle anytime Kili even spoke to his general direction and the way Kili always tried to look taller and more majestic when he thought Ori was looking.

Dori and Thorin even had a small conversation about the matter amongs themselves, coming to the conclusion that the young ones should be left to it and not be rushed and if something happened then it happened.

Soon that decision was thrown to the wind, because Kili and Ori became insufferable, both complaining to their respective kin about how horrible it was to be in love when one was not sure if those feelings were returned. So Thorin put Fili to deal with it. Which he did, by tying them to a tree and telling them to talk about the thing. Two hours later he came to get them off, and Kili and Ori returned to the camp silent, but smiling, holding hands.

The joy about the matter getting resolved didn't last long, because now Kili and Ori were glued to each other, cuddling everywhere, sharing kisses whenever they could, including in the middle of a fight, and Thorin started wondering if he should have left Kili home after all.


	4. Dori/Dwalin

It all started when Dori pushed a boulder that was blocking their way off the road himself, with bare hands. Dwalin was smitten. Not only was Dori strong, which was always admirable for a dwarf, but he also kept himself looking very fine, with his hair and beard carefully done, no matter the circumstances. And Dori was a real big brother for his family, caring and concerned, another good point. In fact, if it weren't for the politeness Dori would have been a perfect dwarf. Dwalin even found this politeness charming.

He was at loss. What he had to offer to such a fine dwarf as Dori, he had to wonder. So he kept this whole crush thing deeply under wraps.

Of course it didn't take long for Balin to notice, he always did. And after pulling the real reason for Dwalin's odd behavior out, he went and talked to Dori. Balin was old-fashioned that way, dwarves these days were getting together without promises or courtings or agreements between parents. He came back with a smile on his face, and told Dwalin to start courting.

Dwalin did, asking Dori to braid his beard, as he didn't dare to touch Dori's hair, which was perfect. Dori complied with pleasure, and seemed happy that things were going slow with them, just like proper dwarves should.


	5. Balin/Oin

They had known each other for all of their lives. They had always been close, playing together, and sharing the burden of being an older brother. They grew together like trees would, leaning on each other for support and for love. 

Balin remembered Oin as the bright student of healing, so dedicated to saving lives. This was before the years wore him down, before he lost his hearing, before he realized that he couldn't save everyone.

Oin remembered Balin as the dwarf who was proud of his role as the adviser to the line of Durin. This was before the years wore him down, before the madness took over the line, before the dragon came.

They lost each other after Erebor was lost. The dragon and all of their friends lost was too much to handle and they drifted apart in their exile, Balin following Thorin and Oin going with his brother. What had once been was lost forever, or so they thought.

And when the word about the quest came, they were both among the first to join. They thought about their lost childhood that waited in those halls under the sleeping dragon and all the riches of the old. And they looked at each other and saw the fire, the past, and the love. And they leaned on each other, just like the olden days. And when their home would be reclaimed, they could start all over again.


	6. Tauriel/Lindir

There was a party from Rivendell, and Tauriel was there to greet them. She saw Elrond's aide, Lindir by his name, and offered him a short nod, which Lindir returned. This was how it always went. 

Thranduil threw a party, as usual, even if the elves from Rivendell didn't do parties like they did in Mirkwood. It took for the visiting elves half an evening just to loosen up a little, and by this time Thranduil was already smashed. This was how it always went.

Tauriel was restless during these parties. She didn't particularly care for them in general, rather keeping on duty. She was always on duty, except when Elrond came to visit. This was how it always went.

And Lindir sat in some corner of the room, looking awkwardly about. He didn't like these parties either. He preferred the Rivendell's way, soft music and drinking in modesty. He nodded at the passing elves, but declined to dance. This was how it always went, until Tauriel nodded at him, and when he with a tilt of the head inclined that he had noticed, left the room.

Lindir followed him couple of minutes later, and Tauriel lead him to her room. And when the door was closed behind them, Lindir's smile came easy, as he said:

”I missed you.”

Tauriel didn't answer, just pulled him towards the bed. That should be enough of an answer.


	7. Bifur/Radagast

”What are you making?”

Bifur looked up at the friend of Gandalf's, who had joined their company just a moment ago and who now was watching him with curiosity. Bifur let out a grunt and showed Radagast the Brown a little bird-toy he was working with. Radagast nodded understandingly. He then whistled a low tune, which was soon answered by a dozen more all around the forest. First bird perched itself on Radagast's hat, and the couple next on his arms, one landed on Bifur's head, gazing at the toy and making peeping sounds.

Bifur nodded, and Radagast smiled, a bit unsure. Bifur grunted again, made a couple of signs and tapped the ground next to him. Radagast sat down, and started whistling to himself, to which the birds answered.

They didn't have a long moment to themselves, because soon the sound of wargs filled the air. Bifur started getting up, at first trying to stuff the bird toy into his pack, but then changing his mind and handing it over to Radagast.

”To me?” Radagast wondered, taking the bird. ”How kind of you. If you ever get a chance to visit my house, after all of this business with the mountain is over with, I will surely repay your kindness. I'm sure the forest would like you too.”

Bifur had no time to answer, because the Company was ordering both of them to move, and Radagast offered to distract the orcs, and Bifur did not see him again.

\- -

After the Mountain was taken back, Bifur talked with Bofur and Bombur about his wish to visit the brown wizard. Both of his cousins had duties they must attend, families, and they weren't sure if Bifur could handle such a long journey without them. Finally they agreed, and Bifur went along with a caravan until he was at the edge of Radagast's forest.

He made his way to Radagast's hut, where the wizard was waiting for him, the birds having informed him of Bifur's arrival.

”Stay as long as you like,” Radagast said, leading him inside into his messy apartment. Bifur sat down and watched as Radagast made a desperate attempt to find his teapot. Some animals from the forest came in to look at Bifur and help Radagast. 

Bifur stayed long, and he filled Radagast's house with toy birds.


	8. Nori/Thorin

Nori might have left on the quest for more than one reason. At first he seemed to have just followed his brothers in search for old lost things. On second glance, and when people found out about his quick fingers, his reasoning for joining were assumed to be of more dishonest type. Both of these were true in their own regard. But there was more, there was the leader of their Company. 

Thorin Oakenshield was a living legend, and Nori was nothing if not curious. It ran in the family: Dori loved to learn manners of all different kinds and Ori buried his nose in books. Nori was fascinated by characters, and Thorin was a very interesting one. He found himself watching Thorin closely, and took much delight in it. He was surprised when he one day realized that Thorin was watching back.

They got to talking, something Nori hadn't even considered as an option. Though, he was the one doing most of the talking. Thorin was interested in what Dori liked to call Nori's ”Past” with a capital P. The heir of Durin's line, Nori realized, must have lived quite a sheltered life in Erebor, and even exile maintained his status as the leader of his people. So he told happily, as much as he could, even if Dori fretted that he was giving completely wrong picture about them to Thorin.

And when he caught glimmer of something more in Thorin's eyes, he pushed his luck, being a gambler at heart. Thorin resisted at first, murmured something about duties and such, but then looked disappointed when Nori pulled back.

So he pushed, and somehow he slipped into the role of Thorin's bedmate and heart-companion like he had been born into it. It was not what he had expected from the quest, but he didn't mind.


	9. Bard/Thranduil

The Town was in ruins, but the dragon was dead, and that was most important. Nevermind the broken houses or the dead bodies or the ash falling from the sky. Not right now, the time for those things, the time for mourning would come. Bard sat in the ruins of the Master's house and stared at the sky, slowly turning into the light of the morning. He ached all over, and the smoke stung his eyes like tears.

When the snow started to fall on the ruins, the elves arrived. They walked in complete silence, picking up bodies and stopping to help the wounded, their heads crowned with fresh white snow.

Bard ignored them, until one approached him. The elf stopped in front of the sitting figure, tall and radiant.

”Bard the Dragonslayer, I am Thranduil of Mirkwood,” the elf said.

”Your majesty,” Bard said, recognizing the Elven King, bowing his head slightly, his voice coarse with smoke. 

”I do not think formalities are necessary at this moment,” Thranduil answered and offered his hand to Bard. Bard looked at it for a long while, finally taking it. Thranduil pulled him up, but didn't let go.

”Your family waits for you,” Thranduil said, starting to lead Bard away from the ruins. Bard didn't answer, taking the support offered. 

His children were waiting for him by their house, which had mostly remained unharmed. When they saw him, they started running, and Bard let go of Thranduil's arm, so he could gather his children up in his arms and just hold them. Thranduil watched them for a while, and then apparently satisfied said:

”I shall take my leave. We shall meet again, hopefully in better circumstances.” 

And with a short nod to Bard, he disappeared into the shadows of the Town.

\- -

They met again, the next time as two kings at the brink of a war, as two kingdoms united. Bard called Thranduil a friend then, not knowing why the Elven King was by his side, but secure in the knowledge that he was.

\- -

They met again, after the battle, each covered in blood, silent, and they leaned on each other as the word about the dead started to pour in, numbers growing with every messenger.

\- -

They met again, many a times after those. They met in peace and in prosper. They met in better circumstances, and one such time Thranduil kissed Bard, and Bard knew why he was by his side then


	10. Fili/Legolas

Thorin had asked Fili to be present everytime the elves came, saying that a future king had to learn to deal with the pointy ears. Fili had agreed, only because he had no say in the matter. The meetings were impossibly boring, with Thorin arguing with King Thranduil over every single slight matter whether it be about supplies or weather.

Soon Fili's attention was caught by another matter entirely. Each time Thranduil brought with him an elf named Legolas, the same that had caught them back in Mirkwood. It didn't take long for Fili to realize that these two were father and son, one had to cast only a look at the both of them to see the resemblance, in their piercing blue eyes and fair hair.

More importantly Legolas appeared to be just as miserable in these meetings as Fili himself, and though Fili didn't particularly care for elves, no one should have to suffer the fate of listening to Thranduil and Thorin arguing about the finer points of thunderstorms.

So Fili mustered what he liked to call his diplomacy skills, and asked if Thranduil would like him to show the Elven Prince around Erebor. Thranduil had no time to answer before Legolas had agreed, looking very relieved indeed to get out of the room.

Fili didn't really show Legolas around Erebor. They wandered into the back entrance of the Mountain and out, and sat on the ledge watching the Lake below and talking. Legolas wasn't bad company, once you got him out of his armor and once you had something in common with him. In this case it was complaining about their respective kingly relatives.

And when it came time for Thorin and Fili to go to Thranduil's palace, Legolas returned the favor, by dragging Fili away to the River before the bickering even started.

They became very good at coming up with excuses to spend time together. And at some point Fili started to look forward to these meetings he had so dreaded before, only for the chance to meet Legolas. Kili teased Fili about falling for an elf. And what if he had? 

Then came the word through Kili's friend Tauriel, that the Prince of Mirkwood was just as confused about his feelings for the Heir of the King Under the Mountain, and Fili's heart leaped in joy. 

Next time Legolas came to visit, as soon as Fili had got him away from Thranduil and Thorin and into a quiet spot he asked Legolas to kneel down.

”For what reason?” Legolas asked, confused.

”Because you are very tall and I would like to kiss you,” answered Fili. Legolas laughed, confused, but knelt down and let himself be kissed.

(When the word of this relationship reached the ears of Thorin and Thranduil (which was not long after, for Kili and Tauriel were horrible at keeping secrets) the two forgot to bicker for about half a day, so confused were they by this turn of events. Their kins' hopes of peace were soon quickly thwarted, when the two added the couple as just another subject for arguments.)


	11. Azog/Elrond (one-sided)

The orc-activity around the Rivendell area increased with the arrival of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. Usually they were not so bold as to step into lands where they knew elves kept watch, so Elrond had to find out for himself what was driving them forward.

After getting rid of couple of packs, Elrond finally caught sight of the leader: a great white orc on a great white warg, Azog the Defiler. And though he pursued Azog with his men, the orc managed just barely to escape. So insolent he even was as to give a little wave to Elrond when he disappeared off into the distance.

Elrond had assumed that Azog would leave after Thorin's Company left, but for weeks after, he caught glimpses of the white orc while on patrol, but never from such a position that a pursuit would have been wise.

For some reason the orc had taken it upon himself to torment Elrond like this. Once when Elrond caught Azog's eyes, he could have sworn that Azog winked at him. He could hardly suppress a shudder.

\- - 

In theory Azog the Defiler hated elves. In reality he did not hate them nearly as much as he hated dwarves, but there were not many things Azog loathed as much as dwarves 

Then there was an elf that caught Azog's eye near Rivendell; leader of his people, dressed in fine armor and looking not nearly as disgusting as most elves. Pretty for an elf, certainly. 

Azog sometimes tried to catch the elf's eye, and hoped to meet him one-by-one so they could face each other as equals. Sometimes he daydreamed of taking the elf for his own, for his companion. Surely even elf would be better company than these orcs he had to deal with, who knew not their right hand from their left.

But then word came that Thorin Oakenshield was in Goblin Town, and Azog reluctantly had to throw away dreams of elves for something much greater. He was on a mission, and he had no time for silly daydreams. Unfortunately.


	12. Bombur & Gloin

After Erebor had been taken back, the Company wa a bit confused about what to do now. They had worked for so long to get to this point that they hadn't really thought about what to do after. More and more dwarves were arriving each day, and the Company couldn't spend each day with each other any more, as duties kept piling up. Still at least once every three days they spent an evening together, eating and having fun. Such was the case that evening.

Gloin came a little late, and sat down next to Bombur, who mumbled a greeting in between bites of a bread. Gloin lit his pipe and stared at their little Company. Dwalin and Dori were sitting with Balin and Oin, and Dori was holding a lecture about the finer things in life. Kili and Ori were leaning heavily against each other, listening to Fili talk about the next time Legolas would come visit. Bofur and Bilbo were quietly talking in the corner, while Nori was braiding Thorin's hair. Bifur was building something that looked like a toy-version of a sled pulled by a dozen of rabbits. Funny how things turned out.

”Has your family arrived yet?” Gloin asked. 

Bombur shook his head. 

”Mine should arrive at some point next week,” Gloin said. ”How many kids did you have again?”

”Fourteen.”

”How many daughters?”

”Eight.”

”That many children would make any father proud," Gloin said and nodded thoughtfully. Bombur gave him a curious look.

”My son Gimli is soon coming to an age where he'll be starting to get interested in other dwarves,” Gloin said. ”And I would like him to find someone with good relations, someone who is from a family I could trust. If you catch my meaning.”

Bombur nodded, looking very pleased.

”I think Bif, my eldest, would like Gimli,” Bombur said. ”And the missus would love to see her marry someone of such high position.”

”Ah, then it is settled. We can not, of course, settle the course of love. But we can always meddle.”

”As fathers do,” Bombur agreed.


End file.
